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Bird Bully

Part of the Human Comedy series
Inspired by true stories
89 Roses

M's boyfriend proposed to her with 99 red roses; she ecstatically accepted. M, who was an accountant, manually counted the roses only to find ten short of 99. Disappointed, M called her boyfriend and rescinded her consent. The dejected boyfriend called a radio show to air his lament. After the show, several listeners checked their rose boutiques bought from the same florist and found fewer roses than what they paid for. When the florist was confronted regarding the issue, he offered an explanation. 

"Because of the bad economy, we are forced to make cutbacks to keep prices low."

Essay Contest

An eighth grader won a district-wide essay contest. Her parents invited relatives and friends to attend the award ceremony. They sat through the entire ceremony but her name was not called. Afterwards, the angry parents confronted the school administrator demanding an explanation. The school informed them their daughter plagiarized an essay on the Internet; she was disqualified from the contest. 

"We told your daughter about our decision two days ago. We regret any inconvenience."

Bird Bully

I witnessed something quite fascinating last weekend. A crow was harassed by a band of small birds and was forced to flee. The vengeful crow later returned with a dozen of his siblings to exact revenge. After a brief battle, the small birds were battered and overwhelmed by the larger crows; they were forced to abandon their territory.

The crows were obviously in a celebratory mood, thinking that they were the invincible conquerors of someone’s beautiful backyard. However, they would soon encounter the biggest bird bully of all -- Mr. Simon and his broom. I think you know who won that battle.

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